What is Praxis?

This post is dedicated to Alli Tanner, Praxis CEO, my dear friend, and soon to be Mrs. Van Shaack. Thanks for always dreaming, exploring, and charging ahead, heart first. This is only the beginning.  

“That’s Alli’s way, she is courageous. She loves adventure, she loves charging forward and having fun. She’s willing to chase a ball down that seems unreachable to everyone else. Without Alli’s commitment and courage to charge ahead, Praxis wouldn’t exist. ”

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Before we dig into the next blog series on Personal Action Styles, and Leadership Languages, I wanted to take a second to rewind and refresh.

Let's go back to the summer of 2004 in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. It was hot outside. The sticky, muggy, can't escape the sun, end of summer, smells like dogwood trees, North Carolina hot. Alli Tanner was a freshman at UNC. I was a sophomore. It was the first day of preseason. Since school wasn't in session, and the dorms weren't open, Alli was crashing at my off-campus apartment. 

The day started with the gauntlet. Alli came out guns blazing and ran a ridiculously fast gauntlet. Evening dawns, and we take the field for the annual opening day, intra-squad scrimmage.  Alli, a forward, comes out again, guns blazing. She charges forward, heart first, head up, ready to pounce, chasing down a pass that seems unreachable. She closes in on the circle - she has a chance - the goal keeper rushes toward the ball, Alli doesn't stop, she keeps going, determined to win the contest. The goal keeper gets to the ball first, swings her leg back to clear it, makes contact, and bam, Alli takes the ball straight into the forehead from point blank distance. She goes down. Blood seeps from a massive gash that spans from her hairline to the tip of her nose. I swore it was so deep you could see her skull. 

I don't remember what happened next. I imagine Alli got up, got stitched up, and asked Coach if she could go back in. That's Alli's way, she is courageous. She loves adventure, she loves charging forward and having fun. She's willing to chase a ball down that seems unreachable to everyone else. Without Alli's commitment and courage to charge ahead, Praxis wouldn't exist. 

So, what is Praxis? 

Praxis is a personal discovery and actualization process built by Alli and myself to translate dreams and ideas into actionable realities. 

 

iNTEGRATED DEVELOPMENT MODEL

The Know You Cube

A comprehensive self-assessment tool that athletes use during the Beta-lete Program to develop a better understanding of individual behavioral attributes as they relate to the whole picture. It provides valuable, specific information on how the athlete perceives their current reality. It provides a platform to engage in purposeful personal development. 

6 Elements of Praxis Wellness

Physical, Mental, Emotional, Social, Developmenal, and Habitual

36 Praxis Attributes 

Each element consists of 6 Core Attributes. An attribute is a specific characteristic, quality, or skill. Attributes, as measured through action, are developable. 

6 Praxis Action Styles

An action style is specific way of doing, how an individual engages in action. Each action style consists of 6 Core Attributes. The 6 Action Styles are Disciplined Practice, Trust, Power, Steadiness, Malleability, and Determination

6 Leadership Languages

Each Action Style translates to a specific Leadership Language. A Language of Leadership is a method of delivering messages to mobilize action in a group of people.  The 6 Languages are: By Example, Shepard, Charismatic, Steadfast, Versatile, and Visionary.

Discover Within, Expand Beyond,

Happy Wedding Weekend Alli & Spence,

Rachel

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The Habitual Element

This post is dedicated to the person in the mirror. It is the final post on the 6 Elements of the Praxis Paradigm - Physical, Mental, Emotional, Social, Developmental, and Habitual. Next week, we will begin exploring the 6 Action Styles and Leadership Languages.

“Own your actions or be owned by them.”

The Habitual Element

Sustain Responsibly

The 6 Habitual Elements

Organization / Time Management

Relaxation

Fueling

Recovery

Space

Sleep / Natural Cycles

“The beauty of habits is that when they are created intentionally and trained deliberately, they open space for spontaneous innovation. They free energy reserves to pursue higher, more complex purposes. ”

Last week, I was in need of a summer read, so I asked a friend for a recommendation. She gave me a title I’d never heard of -  A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles. Trusting her literary tastes, I picked up a copy. In the opening chapter, I read this quote:

“If a man does not master his circumstances then he is bound to be mastered by them.” 

Taking some artistic liberty with the quote, I changed a few words, and came up with this:

“If an athlete does not master her habits then she is bound to be mastered by them.”

Own your actions, and their impact, or be owned by them. There is no alternative. Your actions impact your circumstances - both your actual circumstances and your perception of them. No act, or habit, is neutral. Each and every act informs the bigger picture. Habits help or hinder progress, promote or restrict possibility, uplift or diminish personal power. Every action has an impact, and the sum of those impacts shape the context of your life. 

Life happens by choice. It is the result of small, individual, seemingly meaningless decisions, your habits. A habit is an ingrained choice of action, a tendency or practice developed to promote efficiency, and reduce decision-making fatigue. The beauty of habits is that when they are created intentionally and trained deliberately they open space for spontaneous innovation. Train solid technical skills and decision-making principles and you are free to play the game as it presents in the moment. Habits free energy reserves to pursue higher, more complex purposes. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. When created without intention, habits consume our energy, debilitate progress, and restrict spontaneity. 

“We dress ourselves in our habits, wearing them like a monk wears his cloth. They are so much a part of our constitution that they often go unnoticed. Invisible. Yet everything we experience is subtly shaped by our habits. ”

We dress ourselves in our habits, wearing them like a monk wears his cloth. They are so much a part of our constitution that they often go unnoticed. Invisible. Yet everything we experience is subtly shaped by our habits. Disciplined, intentional habits give freedom. Blind, irresponsible habits limit it.  

Happiness is a choice. That’s a phrase I heard a lot in college. When I heard it, I’d roll my eyes, and think, you don’t get it, you don’t get me. Happiness wasn’t a choice for me.

I perceived happiness as some huge, big, dauntingly magical destination that existed way beyond my reach. I was too far in the rabbit hole of fear, doubt, and denial to accept my power to choose happiness right here, right now. I didn't choose happiness, because I didn't think it was a choice. It was too big, and too far away. Happiness was impossible. So by default, I became a bystander to my circumstances, both the victim and victor of the events that happened around me. I rode a roller-coaster of emotion - somedays happy, somedays in despair. I was owned by my circumstances. Owned by winning and losing. Owned by achievement. Owned by what people thought of me. Owned by what I thought of myself. Owned by expectation. Owned by my lack of awareness, by blindness, and denial.

“My default habits got me exactly where I was, and that was exactly where they’d ever get me. At some point you realize you have a choice - whether on a team, in business, a relationship, or in life - adapt your habits or risk extinction.”

I'm not saying all was bad - I did pretty well and enjoyed some great experiences, but my default habits got me exactly where I was, and that was exactly where they'd always get me. At some point, you realize you have a choice - whether on a team, in business, a relationship, or in life - to adapt your habits, and how you interact with the world or risk extinction.

It took a coach saying 'You need to reinvent yourself' and a couple friends saying good-bye for me to wake me, look in mirror and see that I was not actively engaged in creating my life.

In Yoga, I discovered a practice and space where I was safe to take the blinders off. I was overwhelmed and scared by what I saw - a glimpse of how I actually was, not how I had always pretended to be. It was tough to stomach at first, I wanted to crawl back into the cave of ignorance. But looking in the mirror, and accepting what I saw was the most liberating thing I've ever done. Happiness became accessible.

I re-evaluated and de-stigmatized my idea of happiness, telling myself a new story - that happiness wasn't some big, bold, Olympic pursuit; it was simple, daily, disciplined, intentional decisions. I told myself happiness lives in unremarkable moments, in small wins. Happiness wasn't a destination, it was a daily choice. A choice rooted in habits. 

We have the power to create our habits, and shape our destiny. It is each of our responsibilities. But where do you begin?

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1. Accept Ownership. Accept that you have a choice. Its on you. No one else. 
2. Choose your desired impact. What do you want to create for yourself? What impact do you want to have? What do you want to be possible for you? Set your intention.
3. Look in the mirror. Become aware of your current reality. What story do you tell yourself about your current reality? 
4. Accept Reality. Its not good or bad, it just is.
5. Understand Your Habits. Your actions create your reality. Examine current habits. What's the habit loop - What’s the action, what triggers the action, what’s the impact of the action, and what’s the need satisfaction of the action, what behavior does it reinforce?
6. Choose New Habits. What habits will help you create your desired experience and impact?
7. Make a Specific and Measurable plan. Create a plan to adapt the habit loop. What does deliberate practice look like?
8. Do the Work. Train new habits. 
9. Trust your habits. Let magic emerge spontaneously as you focus on small wins.
10. Re-evaluate habits. Examine impact, adapt and adjust accordingly. 

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So if you want to own your experience, accept that the choice is yours, and yours alone. I support whatever you choose, as long as you take ownership of your choice. Because happiness is a choice.

Discover Within, Expand Beyond

Rachel

The Developmental Element

This post is dedicated to the coaches, leaders, and creators who are courageous enough to share their unique models of understanding with the world. I admire, celebrate, and thank you.

“Growth is natural and enduring. It is not a goal to be reached or a game to be won. It is not achievable. It is process to be honored and respected. It is timeless, perfect, absolute and complete. You can’t force it. It happens when you are ready, when you’ve prepared the soil, and open yourself to it. 
”

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The Developmental Element

Grow & create purposefully, expand naturally

The 6 Developmental Attributes

Goal setting 

Growth Mindset (Curiosity)

Inspiration

Values 

Role and Task engagement 

Purpose

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“I plagued myself with the fever of more and better, always trying to get somewhere, and prove something.  I searched outside myself desperate to understand and connect with something that could only be found within me. ”

Be clear and simple about who you are and what you want to create. Get to what is essential. Essence is the key to development. It is the source of power, transformation and understanding. From essence, you can grow, create, and expand naturally into your potential. 

As long as I can remember, I fought the wisdom of 'less is more.' I believed that developing myself meant adding on, building, improving, bettering, perfecting, going as far as possible as quickly as possible. I lived in the weeds. Growth had a desperate, complicated, comparative, achievement-oriented quality. I plagued myself with the fever of more and better, always trying to get somewhere, and prove something.  I searched outside myself desperate to understand and connect with something that could only be found within me. 

“Developing isn’t about adding on, or improving, it is  about stripping down, getting to the source of you, and letting magic emerge.”

There were rare moments of connection, though, when I got so physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted and let go of striving, and just let myself be vulnerable and in the process that I experienced magic. In those moments, space emerged. I could see myself and life clearly. Those fleeting, spacious moments of wonder kept me curious, and infused me with enough courage to stay upon the path of self-discovery.  That path has not always been an easy one. It has been an essential one. 

Developing isn’t about adding on, or improving, it is  about stripping down, getting to the source of you, and letting magic emerge. The word develop means to un - envelop, to unfold or unfurl, like a Koru, the Maori word for a new silver fern frond that expands from a single point of origin in what seems like perpetual motion. Growth is like that, it is natural and enduring. It is not a goal to be reached or a game to be won. It is not achievable. It is process to be honored and respected. It is timeless, perfect, absolute and complete. You can't force it. It happens when you are ready, when you've prepared the soil, and open yourself to it.

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The 6 Developmental Attributes

Goal Setting - ability to set and pursue clear markers of progress  

Growth Mindset - a sense of wonder and curiosity to explore and grow

Inspiration - To be stirred and enlivened by genius, brilliance, and beauty

Values - a set of core principles that guide behavior and decision-making 

Role and Task Engagement - specific function and contribution, willingness to play part in something bigger

 Purpose - mission, calling, intention

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What is Praxis?

A container or model for personal understanding, discovery, expression and expansion

• How I understand life, sport, growth and the world around me
• A model to express, share and engage in conversation about how I  understand life, sport, and the world around me
• A space, and process, for others to explore, discover, develop and express their own models of understanding

Magic comes unnoticed. Space appears, and you simply emerge into your potential.   

Thats how Praxis happened. It emerged from something within when I stopped striving to understand it. I began to see space between the parts of my experience, and space led to connection - an understanding of how the parts fit together. That fit developed into a model that helped me communicate how I understood myself, life, growth and the world around me. Praxis became a container  for personal exploration, discovery, expression and expansion. Praxis is a process.With every experience, it evolves. It is molded and shaped by every conversation, interaction, and experience. 

I encourage you to explore your own model of understanding. I encourage you to connect to what is essential to you - who you are and what you want to create. Get rid of the layers and fluff of sport, and hone in on the essence of the experience. I encourage you to explore, discover, develop and express your unique and personal model of understanding.

I encourage you to let go,unfurl, and follow the path. Create space for magic.  

Discover Within, Expand Beyond,

Rachel

The Social Element

This post is dedicated to the athletes from the Bancroft school, my friend Beth, and all the people my path crossed this week.  We are a miracle of people. 

“Whatever is going on in the world, there is always a force drawing us together. All of us. We are intimately connected. We take refuge in the presence of one another, in the power of being part of something bigger than ourselves.”

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The Social Element

Relate Intentionally & connect intimately

The 6 Social Elements

Communication 

Empathy 

Influence & Collaboration 

Support 

Relationships and Networks 

Culture and Community 

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“The team, the game, and our culture inspired me to discover the best within me - and by virtue of discovering that, I could impact, uplift and transform the possibility of world around me. That was how I viewed my responsibility as a teammate, and that’s how I view each of our responsibilities as a human being. ”

Life brings us together in a million different ways, for a million different reasons, with a million different people.  We are a social species. We need each other.

We come together for sports, for funerals, for weddings, for meetings. We come together for protests, for celebrations, for business deals, for cups of coffee, for growth. We come together for causes, for activities, for places. We come together in happy times, angry times, and sad times. Whatever is going on in the world, there is always a force drawing us together. All of us. We are intimately connected. We take refuge in the presence of one another, in the power of being part of something bigger than ourselves. 

That's why I played field hockey for so long. I was a small part of something very, very special. I was magnetized by the 'coming together' to serve a cause bigger than myself. The team, the game, and our culture inspired me to discover the best within me - and by virtue of discovering that I could impact, uplift and transform the possibility of world around me. That was how I viewed my responsibility as a teammate, and that's how I view each of our responsibilities as human beings. 

“We are a miracle of people.”

We are a miracle of people. Birds fly in flocks,  dolphins swim in pods, lions hunt in prides, wolves run in packs, geese go in gaggles yet us humans, we don’t have a name. We have a million different names. In sports we call it a team, in politics and hunting its a party, in drama its a troupe, in business its a board, in sailing its a crew, in education its a class. Specific names based on some particular characteristic or purpose we share. Our names create distinction and specificity, yet they also create the perception of separation. But we are not separate. We are connected. We are a miracle of people.

The etymology of a miracle is wonder. What if every time you noticed a group of people you said to yourself, ‘that’s a miracle of people.’ How would the terminology change the way you view society? Your belonging to and interaction with it? Would it transform your lens from that of separation and limitation to possibility and wonder?

Truth is, no matter how much we try to separate, isolate or create distinction between us, we are connected. Out of many people, one people. I was reminded of that this week. 

“No matter how much we try to separate, isolate or create distinction between us, we are connected. That is our truth. Out of many people, one people.”

My mom works at the Bancroft School. She asked me to speak at their annual Special Olympics banquet. On Tuesday, I spoke. I'll be honest, I didn't know  what to say - these athletes face challenges and experiences - I've never ever faced. I didn't know anything about them - why they played or what they got from it. I didn't know what message they needed to hear. I didn't know so I did what I always do when I don't know what to do, I followed my heart, I saw the connection between me and them, and let the words follow:

"Never Give up on You. Celebrate You. Celebrate what makes you you, what makes you different, and unique, and valuable. Celebrate that special thing that you, and only you, can give to the world. Because if you don’t celebrate it, if you don’t celebrate yourself, no one else can, and there are a lot of people in this room, and beyond its walls that want to celebrate you. So share you with the world. The world needs you."

The 6 Social Attributes

Communication - ability to effectively exchange information, how we deliver and receive information

Empathy - ability to understand the experiences of another

Influence & Collaboration - the ability to bring people together to shape, influence and create a desired outcome

Support - ability to assist, nurture, and uplift another

Relationships and Networks - a dynamic web of relationships that fulfill serve multi-dimensional purposes

Culture and Community - A constantly evolving, shared environment within which individuals live, perform, create, connect and grow

I watched the remainder of the night in awe. The hugs, the love, the banter, the unique joy of simply being together to celebrate the togetherness of sport. I just met these people, and I felt a part of their special night. Sometimes we get so caught up in the reason for being a part of something, and how we are supposed to play our part in it that we forget to celebrate the simple beauty and power of coming and being together. The remarkable thing isn't to be the star or standout, the remarkable thing is to be a part of something bigger than yourself. 

The funny thing is, how we relate to and perceive others, and our belonging to the world, is merely an extension of how we relate to and view ourselves. The degree to which you know, love and celebrate yourself, is the degree to which you can know, love, and celebrate anyone, or anything else. 

So celebrate you, and share you. The world needs you. Each of us is a small part of something way bigger, and that is what makes us remarkable.  

So let's come together, and be remarkable because we are a miracle of people. 

Discover Within, Expand Beyond,

Rachel

The Emotional Element

This post is dedicated to the courageous ones - the ones who let themselves feel, live and experience it all. The ones who don't run away. This post is dedicated to you.

“We wear emotion on our face, in our body, in our thoughts, actions, and words. Harnessing emotional power requires taking responsibility for the energy we wear, we give, we create, and we destroy. Responsibility means listening, and responding. ”

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The Emotional Element

energize action & stabilize response

The 6 Emotional Attributes

Self Assessment / Regulation

Optimism / Grit

Confidant Expression

Stress Response

Initiative / Competitiveness

Resilience / Commitment

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“We want to be happy, but we are sad, angry, scared, overwhelmed. We fear the contradiction, and because we fear it we refuse to accept it, appreciate it, or take responsibility for its profound impact on us.”

Emotion has a bad rap. Its the dirtiest word in sport. The word we don’t speak of or name outright. It’s the thing we pretend doesn’t exist because if we accepted its existence we’d destroy our mask of control. If we cared, or cried, or felt sad, or had anger, or felt joy or inspiration, if were honest about what really motivates us and overwhelms us, we’d consider ourselves weak, irrational, out of control.

Worst of all, emotional.

We run from emotion because we don't totally understand it, and we don't want to take responsibility for it. We dismiss it as an unstable, unpredictable, and supremely volatile. We disregard it, bury it, demonize it, get caught up in it and don’t healthily express it or let ourselves feel it because emotion - the unpredictable, three-eyed, morphing monster of creation and destruction that lives inside of us - has a bad rap.  We want to be happy, but we feel sadness, anger, fear, overwhelm. We don't understand the contradiction, and because we don't understand emotion we refuse to accept it, appreciate it, or take responsibility for its profound impact on us.

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The 6 Emotional Attributes

Self Assessment / Regulation - ability to identify, evaluate, and direct energy

Optimism / Grit - ability to see energetic possibility and direct it with humility 

Confidant Expression - ability to express and communicate energy in healthy and positive ways 

Stress Response - ability to choose a healthy response to emotional pressure, strain, and tension

Initiative / Competitiveness - ability to motivate, self-start, and take part in a contest

Resilience / Commitment - ability to bounce back, regain energy and maintain resolve

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So let's clear the air.

Emotion is not a monster. Emotion is an energy system, a very sophisticated internal energy system like the weather, that - at it best - moves in, does its thing, and then moves out.  The very nature of emotion is that it is in motion -  stirred energy. Emotion plays an important role in our bodies ability to maintain ideal performance conditions. It is a conduit - a messenger - between the mind, body (our internal environment) and environment. Emotion provides us with valuable information about our level of arousal. It tells us if we are overexposed, underexposed, overwhelmed or in equilibrium. It helps us identify the need, and way, in which to rebalance the interaction between internal and external environments. 

“Emotion provides us with valuable information about our level of arousal. It tells us if we are overexposed, underexposed, overwhelmed or in equilibrium. It helps us identify the need, and way, in which to rebalance the interaction between internal and external environments. ”

Emotion creeps up when we are tired, stressed, over or under stimulated, dehydrated, over-thinking, around certain people, trying too hard, unsure, wanting something, ignoring something, resisting, not listening. Millions of factors trigger the onslaught of a myriad of complex emotions, some positive, some negative. Some of those factors come from within us and others from beyond our control. Thoughts trigger emotion, as do conversations, stories, and physical experiences. Emotion is not something to fear or shy away from, nor is it something to get too caught up in. Denial deepens our attachment, and over-identification creates emotional layers.

So what do we do with emotion?

We let it move through us. We accept its presence, listen for its message, and then choose how to respond to it. Emotion is stubborn. It won't go away until it does it job, until we let it deliver its message.  We must listen to it, because it influences how we interact with the world, and ourselves. It motivates our decisions.  It gives color and texture to the context of our lives. It is part of what makes us human. Emotion is a power to be embraced, harnessed and respected.

So do things that stir emotion. Play sports. Compete. Perform. Care about something. Open your heart, and put it on the line. Go into the uncomfortable zone of feeling. Lean in to the emotions that come up. Get curious about your default reaction to each specific emotion. When you feel anger, do you fight? Run? Try harder? Pretend? Blame? Learn to listen to and respond to whatever emotion the experience brings up. Let your response create new adaptations and opportunities for expansion. Let emotion energize action and when necessary, stabilize response.

Emotion exists. Stop pretending it doesn't. It's not dirty. It's powerful. Stop avoiding responsibility. We wear emotion on our face, in our body, and in our thoughts. Harnessing our emotional power requires taking responsibility for the energy we wear, we give, we create, and we destroy. Responsibility means listening, and responding. Being able to feel the message without getting caught in the messengers delivery.

So here is my challenge to you - are you willing to put your heart on the line. Are you willing to feel it all, live it all, and let it all move through you. Are you courageous enough to be vulnerable to it all, and to trust yourself to be responsible for it all.  

Whatever comes up. Listen to it, and let it go on its way. Emotion is energy. That's all.

Discover Within, Expand Beyond,

Rachel

The Mental Element

This post is dedicated to every coach, teacher, teammate and opponent that pushed me outside my comfort zone and helped me realize that my only limit was inside my head.

“The key to maintaining mental composure is to stay simple, present, and to task in each moment, confidently calling every bluff you face whether from the opponent, the situation, or yourself. ”

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The Mental Element

Enhance Decision-Making

the 6 mental Attributes

Awareness

Adaptability

Creativity

Focus

Situational Analysis

Strategic Alignment

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“We are all living and responding from our own virtual reality. Two individuals put in the exact same situation can and most likely will experience it totally differently. That’s what makes team sports so interesting, and sometimes frustrating, every player approaches the game, and each situation in it, from a different perspective.”

A sports psychologist once asked me how much of the game I thought was mental? Without blinking I said 100%. The mind impacts everything I see, say, do - and more so, how I experience the things I see, say and do. 

It's all a mind game - sports, life, chess, super mario brothers, candy crush. We are all living and responding from our own virtual reality. Two individuals put in the exact same situation can and most likely will experience it totally differently. That's what makes team sports so interesting, and sometimes frustrating - every player, coach, and parent approaches the game from a different perspective. Merging the divergent mindsets, and translating them into unified action is what creates that magic we often call chemistry.

That magic begins with knowing your own mind, learning its mastery, and from there, letting the realm of possibility expand.  It is easy to ignore the impact your mental patterns have on your sport experience because those patterns hide in plain sight, so normal and pervasive, we often don't even notice they exist.  

“Give ‘em enough rope to hang themselves,” that’s what Lee Bodimeade, my first coach on the national team used to say. In sports lingo that meant create such a strong perception of pressure that the opponent overthinks, hesitates, break flows, and coughs up the ball. Winning meant figuring out how to turn the opponent against themselves - mind against body, teammate against teammate, coach against player. When the opponent started to talk back to the refs or complain, that’s when we knew we had them right where we wanted them - not focused on the work of the game, in their heads, in the thick of their own personal virtual competitive hell. I know the torture of such a hell because I've been there more times than I care to recount.

“The role of my mind is to efficiently process information in a way that enhances decision-making, and promotes the mission.”

While we worked to break the opponent, the opponent worked to break us. We attacked each others blindspots - that thing everyone else can see in you that you ignore. The constant battle of wills required disciplined training, fortitude and clarity of purpose - the choice not get caught in the windfalls, ebbs, and flows of the competitive storm. Be un-messable, the eye at the center of the storm is a phrase Lisa Taylor my yoga teacher often says. Craig Parnham, former national team coach, would say ‘heart in the fire, head in the fridge,’ and ‘bend but don’t break’ were the wise words of Lee Bodimeade. However you term it, the key to maintaining mental composure is to stay simple, present, and to task in each moment, confidently calling every bluff you face whether from the opponent, the game, or yourself. 

Calling your own bluff means getting to know yourself in a pretty deep way - knowing your triggers, your  thought patterns, perceptions, blind spots, and default reactions. It means knowing what my teammate, Melissa Gonzales called 'the dark side,' the side most of us pretend doesn't exist.  

Knowing yourself means understanding how you take in information, how you process it, and how you use it to make decisions. Awareness, the ability to take on information in the moment without judgement, expectation, or reaction, is the key to self-understanding. 

Sport, like life, is a infinite number of bundled decisions aimed toward the fulfillment of some purpose or intention - score a goal, win a game, buy a home, run a thriving business, be of service, be happy, make something possible for the next generation, etc.  Each decision impacts the bigger picture, and your mind is the filter that frames every aspect of the decision-making process. It is the tool that interprets all the sensory information your body receives and  processes it as efficiently as possible to make a decision that promotes the mission.

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Step 1: What are you aware of? 

What sensory information do you take in? What do you hear, feel, smell, taste, and see? Your environment, skills, experience, and expectations prime you to take in certain types of information while ignoring others. When I was playing, depending on my frame of mind, I would scan the field and sense the opponents pressure, or I'd sense the space and opportunity behind the pressure. 

Step 2: What options are available? 

How you process information determines what options are available to you. In my case, if I was focused on the defenders pressure, my options were limited. If I was focused on the space behind the pressure, more options became available.

Step 3: Decide on a course of action. 

Once you know your options, decide a course of action

Step 4: Execute.

Use your physical skill set to execute the decision

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the 6 Mental Attributes 

Awareness - ability take on information in the moment without judgement, expectation, or reaction; relies on the use of the senses, mindfulness

Adaptability - openmindness and acceptance, ability to adjust effectively and fluidly to changing circumstances

Creativity - the ability to go beyond normal patterns and rules in order to create new forms, solutions, relationships, and models

Situational Analysis - the ability to identify, process, and comprehend critical information happening in a specific moment in order to provide effective and immediate solutions

Strategic Alignment - the ability to link structure, role specialization, and in moment decision-making for mission fulfillment

 So how do you develop a better understanding of your mental patterning? 

It takes time, and training. But to start, go way outside your comfort zone and see what comes up. 

Pressure train your mind. Work your body beyond its perceived limits. Enter a totally new environment. Challenge yourself. Do something you don't want to do. Maybe that means turning off the T.V., de-screening, and sitting still for a bit. Get to know what reality you actually live in. Encourage the onslaught of uncomfortable and new sensation, and see how your mind reacts. Does it want to quit, run, fight, blame, complain? What virtual reality does it create?  Heaven? Hell?

Let your default mental pattern emerge. Accept it, then harness the decision-making capacity of your mind by committing to develop your mental capacity. Start with awareness. Then identify a specific area you'd like to explore in greater depth - maybe its your adaptability, creativity, focus, situational response, or strategic alignment. Explore one area, that's all, and see how it shows up in your life? Get really, really curious about your mind. Go to the dark side, see what's there. 

Because the degree to which you know yourself is the degree to which you can go beyond yourself.  Only when your mind is open, clear, and responsive are you free to serve and be part of something bigger. 

And the secret to knowing yourself is. . .

all in your head. 

Discover Within, Expand Beyond,

Rachel

The Physical Element

This post is dedicated to the practice of yoga, and all those who share in body physical experiences whether on the mat, in competition, or in life. 

“Know your body and you’ll know yourself. It is your anchor to reality and the access point to your potential.”

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the Physical Element

OPTIMIZE PERFORMANCE

The 6 Physical Attributes

Technical Skill

Mobility / Flexibility

Speed / Power

Strength / Stability

Agility

Endurance

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Look no further than your body. It holds all the wisdom you’ll ever need. It is your anchor to reality and the access point to your potential. It already knows every metric that your little device is telling you. Stop fighting it, judging it, analyzing it, and ignoring it. By all means challenge it, then get out of its way, and see what it can do.

I’ve spent most of my life training my body- pushing it, listening to it, acknowledging its thresholds, developing its skills, and teaching it to push beyond limits. My body, and life, always had a clear sense of purpose - discover what was possible in the sport of field hockey, and that meant becoming very aware of my in body experience. It meant being fully alive, as messy and uncomfortable as that aliveness became.

Then, last October, I retired from the USA National Team and over the next 6 months, I slowly lost connection with myself. The disconnect began in my body. I stopped moving purposefully. I stumbled around without conviction, curiosity or appreciation for the incredible mechanism of movement happening everyday. 

“All experience and learning happens in the body. It is the physical reality of you. If you want to change something in your life, and I mean anything, start with your body.”

Call it a fog. I was going through the motions of poses, conversations and daily activities. Smells were dull. Tastes were bland. Pain was nothing but a chronic ache. Sound was annoying. Touch had no sensation. Breathing was superficial. I was here, but not really. Sure, I did yoga. I ran. I hiked. I did tons of things. Yes had become my default response to every question. I spent so much time in my car commuting - going here, there, and everywhere which in the end left me nowhere at all except really far away from myself. I was separate from everything and everyone, especially my own physical body.

All experience and learning happens in the body. That is where learning begins, and where it ends. It is the physical reality of you. If you want to change something in your life, and I mean anything - a relationship, career, thought pattern, lifestyle - start with your body. Start by getting still and listening to it. Let yourself feel physical sensation. Feel your heart beating - in your chest, your palms, your belly, your ears.  Feel the temperature of your skin. Tense every muscle in your body, feel the tension. Stop squeezing your muscles and feel the difference.

Get out of the idea of your body, and actually into your body. Challenge it, and I mean really challenge it, and see how it responds. Feel whatever you feel, and just as much, feel whatever you don't feel - feel the numbness. Listen for openings, and listen for limits, than move beyond them both. Don't think about the challenge, just do it, explore what is real and possible in your body. 

Once you complete the challenge, get curious about your physical experience. Reflect on it. When working with my own body, and exploring its physical movement patterns, I identified 6 critical  attributes to help my personal understanding. Those attributes became the basis of the Physical Element of the Praxis Paradigm - skill, mobility, power, strength, agility, and endurance.  

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6 physical attributes

TECHNICAL SKILL a particular set of skills relating to the efficient execution or  performance of a task or craft

MOBILITY / FLEXIBILITY ability to move freely and easily, especially through the joints

STRENGTH / STABILITY - ability to hold weight, relates to the stacking of your bones

POWER / SPEED - ability to exert force and accelerate an object through space, relates to muscle action

AGILITY -  ability to change direction, relates to the balance of opposing forces

ENDURANCE -  ability to endure arduous tasks for a long period of time, relates to physical stamina and steadiness of breath (aerobic capacity)

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Get in your body

1. Sit or Stand Still
2. Feel What You Feel and What You Don't
3. Set a Physical Challenge 
4. Perform the Challenge
5. Feel What You Feel and What You Don't
6. Complete the Challenge
7. Get Still - feel what you feel
8. Assess your experience of the 6 Physical Attributes
9. Begin again

As you reflect, ask yourself these questions. How does your body move? What patterns has it developed? How do those patterns impact performance?  What do they make possible, and what possibility do they prevent? Why were they necessary to develop? Are they still necessary? 

Can you develop new movement patterns?

Yes, you can. If you are willing to. It takes work, deliberate action, and ruthless self-awareness. So get clear on what patterns exist, and what physical attributes you want to develop, and in every moment, no matter how uncomfortable, choose what you want to develop.

Your body is the gateway to life. Get to know it. Because if you want to connect with other people or with some higher power and purpose, you must first and foremost connect with your own natural body.  

It is the door. Open it.

Discover Within, Expand Beyond,

Rachel

Results that Matter

This post is dedicated to Kylie, 13 years old from New Jersey, and all the athletes competing this weekend.

Photo by Planet Hockey, Ned Dawson

“What matters is the person you become through the toils and spoils of sport, and what becomes possible for you, and the world around you, by virtue of your daily choices.””

At some point, the game will end. The whistle will blow and your work on the field will be done. Maybe you won, maybe you didn’t. I don’t care about that. I don’t care if you saw playing time, or how much. I don’t care if you were the superstar, watergirl, coach, parent, or referee.

I do care about the result, though. The result that shows up in everything you do - how you compete, how you smile, how you cry, how you treat people, how you work, how you engage in the tough conversations, how you handle adversity, how you experience and contribute to the world around you.

The result that matters is the person you become through the toils and spoils of sport, and what becomes possible for you, and the world around you, by virtue of your daily choices.

Sport is a vehicle like a car or a train. It moves you from one place to the next. It’s a tool like a shovel or a chisel to shape yourself.  Every experience you have, on and off the field - every interaction, decision, game, drill, and word will take you someplace new. Every moment will shape you.

“Decide what success means to you””

How it shapes you and where it takes you happens by chance or by choice. I beg you please don’t wish and hope your way through your life. If you want something, work for it. Take whatever box life offers you, make a sturdy ship, set your sails, trust the winds, and trust yourself. Everything you need you already have, you just have to be willing to discover it within you.

Start now, and start small. Make your bed, brush your teeth, hug your mom, say thank you to the janitor at school, ask your dad how his day was. Make someone smile, even if that someone is you.

Decide what success means to you. What does it look like? Feel like? Sound like?

Choose a desired outcome for your sport experience. What do you want from it? What brings you the most joy? Pick a measurable result, like a certain milestone or progress marker, and choose a feeling-based result. Ask yourself this question, when the game is over, how do I want to feel?

I don’t care what outcomes you choose. Everyone's intended outcomes will look very different.

The important thing is that you choose outcomes for yourself from where you are right now. Choose something that lives a little beyond your grasp - something that lights you up and scares you at the same time. Something that seems a little impossible, but you know with work will become entirely probable.

“So from time to time, get quiet, and listen to the beating of your own heart. Look in the mirror, deep in your own eyes, and choose the path that awakens your soul. Your gut will rumble with nerves. Trust that feeling.””

And when that desired outcome becomes reality, when you've gone beyond yourself, start again. Set a new intention, and work into it.

Along the way, listen for the input of others - me, your parents, coaches, teammates. There's value in listening. Do it with an open mind. Remember that ultimately the choice is yours, and yours alone. So from time to time, get quiet, and listen to the beating of your own heart. Look in the mirror, deep in your own eyes, and choose the path that awakens your soul. Your gut will rumble with nerves. Trust that feeling. That's when you know.

Not everyone will understand your choice. That doesn't mean it is wrong. It just means that there is an opportunity to share your perspective and have a conversation. That conversation may be difficult. But it will be worthwhile. Don’t avoid the tough conversations.  They will open your eyes, or someone else's to a new perspective. Be honest and respectful, and remember that what matters most is how you have the conversation.

Just like I care about how you have the conversation, I care about how you compete, and how you pursue your desired outcomes. I care that you compete in a way that nurtures the best in you. You will stumble a million times. You’ll stand up, and then stumble again. That’s how babies learn to walk. I care how you respond to the stumbles. That you choose to keep learning. You’ll meet bullies along the way. They will try to push you down, and sometimes you'll push yourself down. I challenge you - don't be a bully, and don't accept bullying from anyone, including yourself.

Prepare yourself in a way that makes winning possible. Do whatever it takes to make that happen, and when it is time to take the field, let go of all expectations and fears. Trust your preparation, play free, show yourself exactly as you are, and trust what comes of that. You won’t always win. Your heart will get broken, and that will hurt. Its okay to hurt, and feel pain. Let the pain break you wide open to new adventures.

I care that you use the work of sport to shape the person you are and continue to become. I care that you trust yourself. I care that you build sustaining habits and undo the destructive ones. I care that you chose to play in a way that lets you give to and serve those around you.

A million people will to support you in all you want to become, but remember they can only support you if you support yourself. Start supporting yourself. Look in the mirror, and choose to support yourself in all you are, and all you want to become.

Discover Within, Expand Beyond,

Rachel

The Beta-Lete file #1

The Beta-lete File is a monthly profile that digs into the inner workings of the person at the source of competitive performance.

Melissa Gonzalez 

Team: USA FIELD HOCKEY

Position: MIDFIELDER

Status: 2X OLYMPIAN

College: UCONN

I: mgonzalez13

The world knows her as Gonzo, a fiercely competitive, ridiculously skilled and whole-hearted champion from New York. This gal beat-boxes like JT, moves like Mick Jagger, and on the field, she dangles and dusts like Stephen Curry. The best thing about being her teammate - she tackles back like Don Beebe. Don't know who Don Beebe is? Well let me enlighten you - watch this.

Gonzo plays with no finish lines, because she is never out of the fight - until she tells herself that she is out of it. Praxis met up with the newly crowned captain of the rebuilt American squad to talk what it takes to tap in and go beyond what you think is possible.

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“Limits begin and end with you. You are the captain of your fate. You are the problem, and you are the solution.”

— Melissa Gonzalez

PRAXIS: Describe yourself at your best - body, mind, competitive spirit, and connection with others.

GONZ: At my best I feel powerful, fluid, and quick. My mind is clear and action/ movements are involuntary. Just  as I would easily breath air I make decisions and my body follows suit. My competitive spirit is front foot and animalistic, there are no doubts, there is nothing beyond the moment I am in. My connection with others is best described as electricity. Personally I operate best when energy permeates throughout a group.  No words are spoken or needed our task is just understood and collectively chased.

PRAXIS: The most-fulfilling aspect of the competitive experience is . . . because. . .

GONZ: The most-fulfilling aspect of the competitive experience is accomplishing something your mind,body, or spirit deemed impossible because it proves that limits begin and end with you, you are the captain of your fate, your are the problem, and you are the solution.

PRAXIS: What 2-3 habits are critical to creating a fulfilling and sustainable competitive experience?

GONZ: Reflection, Resilience, Connection

PRAXIS: What moments are most challenging as an elite competitor? What gets you through tough moments?

GONZ: The moments I deem most challenging as an elite competitor are when I am mentally and physically exhausted. When I don't believe I can continue because I have overwhelming doubt and have placed limitations on myself. When I am tired and training becomes a chore rather than an opportunity/gift, these moments are challenging and test me to the core.  What gets me through these moments are the ability to recall and identify WHY I am there and what is my purpose. After establishing that, I recommit to WHY it’s important not to quit and begin to find a solution. I find an actionable plan to not just survive but thrive. I use my teammates as an anchor, I use them to empower me and find strength. I also like to use humor and a light hearted spirit to get through grueling moments.

PRAXIS: What is the impact of self-awareness on your ability to learn, grow, and peak perform?

GONZ: Self-awareness is a difficult skill because it requires vulnerability. It requires you to be honest and real with yourself. It may require you to say “I made a huge mistake or I am the problem” and that is scary. If you are able to objectively reflect then the result should be identifying and understanding your personal patterns of habit. You will inevitable grow because you understand why you did something or why you shouldn’t. All of this to me is invaluable to performance. A growth mindset is about being better and to be better you have to admit you aren't perfect. It’s about removing your ego. I think of self -awareness as an equation. You must  use growth, learning, and self awareness as a vehicle and the destination is  peak performance.  

PRAXIS: If there is one habit or area you’d like to develop in yourself that you haven't yet developed, what would it be? What would be the impact of that habit on your experience?

GONZ: The  mind. My greatest strength and weakness are my emotions. I don't believe I have remotely mastered understanding how I can better control and utilize my emotions under stress, tension, and conflict. The impact of mastering my mind would mean I would be better equipped to handle more situations positively and in return would allow me to focus on elite performance.

PRAXIS: If there was one habit or area to develop in American athletes (and American sport) what would it be?  

GONZ: The mind. As athletes from an early age we spend hundreds to thousands of hours and dollars on practicing skill,technique, play, nutrition, teamwork, and fitness but yet we so willingly neglect the power of the mind. You cannot deal with failure, pressure, stress, and conflict if you do not practice it on a regular basis. To me its an underdeveloped area if trained would generate great growth.  

When Competition Gets Complicated

Competition is stressful, and uncertain. It challenges the body, mind, and spirit. That stress is a healthy and necessary vehicle for evolution and progress. Yet when dealing with the pressure, uncertainty and expectation of competition, athletes (and humans in general) often overact to real and perceived stressors. We fixate on outcomes, inflexible perceptions, and external opinions. We lose awareness of what’s happening in the moment, in turn preventing spontaneous, creative, intelligent response.

Under such strain, athletes may win games, or perform adequately, but often, we don’t feel satisfied with the sport experience because the intrinsic, compelling, and creative experience of competition has been lost. 

With the loss of authentic competitive aliveness, and the lack of clear pathway to elevate out of the slump, athletes begin to act out of default survival patterns, and while these patterns may produce perceived results in the short run, in the long term they thwart sustainable growth. The inability to grow and actualize potential becomes the root cause of unhappiness in sport and life. 

Unhappiness shows up in different forms. Athletes become angry, numb, depressed or anxious. They blame, complain, isolate, consume or make excuses. They overwhelm themselves with a desire to fix, improve and perfect. They do more, and in time, become overwhelmed by constant doing. They burn out. 

Some athletes quit, and if they don’t quit, they start going through the motions, always trying never trusting the process, never learning, or growing. In time, performance suffers, and those once vibrant competitors, creators, and contributors find themselves stuck, unconnected, and incomplete. The sport experience becomes meaningless.

The way back into competitive aliveness isn't complicated. Its simple. Embark upon the path of remembering. Remember yourself. Remember why you started. Remember what you love. Don't chase results, or likes, or validation. Don't look beyond yourself. Go within. Ask the question, and discover that the answer is already alive within you, and once you discover the aliveness at your source, you'll naturally expand beyond yourself into new possibility, and into the fullest, most natural expression of yourself and your human potential.

Discover Within, Expand Beyond,

Rachel